Jesus jokes page is a collection of clean jokes and funny stories.
You see humor can be a very important part of our life, if we know how to apply it.
I am definitely against dirty Jesus jokes or stories which have no spiritual substance and significance.
So, here I will attempt to place only such a humor we can learn from, and at the same time, enjoy a good laugh.
The Bible says that a “merry heart doeth good like a medicine” (Proverbs 17:22).
So, enjoy these Jesus jokes, and if you want more clean Jesus jokes, the Internet offers some, but You need to search them out:
A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture. When the son returned, he said, “Papa, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity.”
“Oy vey,” said the father, “What have I done!”
He took his problem to his best friend. “Ike,” he said, “I sent my son to Israel, and he came home a Christian. What can I do?”
“Funny you should ask,” said Ike. “I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the Rabbi.”
They explained their problem to the Rabbi.
“Funny you should ask,” said the rabbi. “I, too sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. What ishappening to our young people?”
They prayed, telling the Lord about their sons.
As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the heavens: “Funny you should ask,” said the voice, “I, too, sent my son to Israel…”
The wisdom of God
God is sitting in heaven when a scientist prays to Him, “God, we don’t need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing. In other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning.”
“Oh, is that so? Tell me…” replies God.
“Well,” says the scientist, “we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man.”
“Well, that’s interesting…show Me.”
So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.
“No, no, no…” interrupts God, “Get your own dirt.”
The dream shop
A person walks into a big shop and goes straight to the counter. There he sees Jesus. The man asks: “Lord, what do You have to offer?”
In reply, the Lord asked: “What does your heart desire?”
“I want peace and happiness in all the world.” said the man (Isn’t that what we all want – a trouble free world, where we can relax and enjoy?)
Jesus smiled and said: “Well, I don’t offer fruits here – just seeds”
The safest place to be
How to Stay Safe in the World Today?
Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents.
Do not stay home because 17% of all accidents occur in the home.
Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14% of all accidents occur to pedestrians.
Avoid traveling by air, rail, or water because 16% of all accidents involve these forms of transportation.
Of the remaining 33%, 32% of all deaths occur in hospitals. Above all else, avoid hospitals.
You will be pleased to learn than only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are usually due to previous physical disorders. Therefore logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is at church! Bible study is safe, too. The percentage of deaths during Bible study is even less.
For safety’s sake – attend Church and read your Bible . . . it could save your life!
Who destroyed the walls of Jericho?
A minister, responsible for the religious education in a school once visited one of the classes, to check out the education level. He asked the students: “Please tell me, who destroyed the walls of jericho?”
One of the students stood up and said: “It was not me, Sir!”
The minister thought the kids were making fun of him, so he turned to the teacher and asked: “Is this the way students normally behave here?”
The teacher was puzzled and answered: “I think this student is very honest and I really don’t belive he could do such a thing“.
Confused, the minister went to his assistant and explained to him what had happened. The assistant replied: “I know this guy very well, as well as his teacher, so I am absolutely sure none of them is guilty of destroying that wall“.
When the minister heard this, he made a formal complaint before the Christian Eduation Commission. The answer he received from them was the following:
“Dear Sir, let us not make a big issue out of this. We will pay for the damages caused, accounting for them as current school repairs. Whatever the losses are, our insurance will cover them”
Like Moses, Elijah and Jesus
A teenager boy says to his father: “Father, please buy me a car. I am already old enough“. His father asnwered: “OK, but only after you remove that long beard of yours“.
The boy decided to outwit his father – a minister, saying: “But father, Moses had a long beard, Elijah too, and even Jesus“.
“True,” said the father, “And they all walked on foot“.